Load o’ Ballog

To shave a monkey

To shave a monkey

Concept: any effort put into producing an unconvincing fake is wasted effort.

It takes a lot of effort to shave a monkey because they don’t like it and they are very nimble. The result, even with a perfect shave, is clearly not a man, so the effort is wasted. Analogous to “polish a turd”.

Let’s not waste any more time on that project – we’re just shaving a monkey.

Brunner

Lunner: (n) a meal that is too late to be brunch or even lunch but too early to be dinner.

Brunner: (n) a meal that is too late to be brunch or even lunch but too early to be dinner.

I invented that word on Christmas day this year because we had brunch at three in the afternoon.

Do you know what that made it?

Why, Yule Brunner, of course!

Panektoproctologist

Following on from Musing #37:

Panektoproctologist: (n) a doctor who deals with all areas of medicine except proctology

Which comes from the Greek:
pan = all
ektos = except
proktos = anus
+ logy (English, but from the Greek logos, meaning “word” or “thought”)

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

Sickophant

It has been a while since I added a new word.

Sickophant: (n) someone who takes fawning behaviour to a pathological level

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

Toodles

Because it’s lunch time and I’m hungry, I’m thinking of having toodles.

Toodles: (n pl) Tons (figurative) of noodles

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

Ecumaniac

The story about the priests fighting each other at the traditional birthplace of their Lord and Saviour has inspired this month’s new word (just about making it with barely over two hours to go before January):

Ecumaniac: (n) a priest who, instead of promoting Christian unity, decides to fight priests of other Christian demoninations, often with broom handles.

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

Bicyxual

The previous post has inspired November’s new word:

Bicyxual: (adj) of, relating to, or characterised by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward bicycles

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

The Hair of the Dog’s Bollocks

Better late than never, here is your new phrase for October 2007:

The Hair of the Dog’s Bollocks: (expr) the very best hangover remedy

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

By the way, for readers further afield, “hair of the dog that bit you” is a saying that means drinking more alcohol as a remedy for a hangover and “the dog’s bollocks” is an expression meaning that something is very good.

Spelldour

Here is your new word for September.

Spelldour: (n) the splendour of correct spelling.

Fly, child of mine! Be free!

Looneybee

It’s a new month, so here is a new word. It’s a word that has already made an appearance in my ballog, but this post is its official inauguration.

Looneybee: (n) A wannabee looney, one who merely envies the lunatic behaviour of others but lacks the amoral fibre of a complete lunatic.

Fly child of mine! Be free!